Say What?

Another in a series of ongoing lists. I hope you'll contribute!

If you happen to be with me almost anywhere—a café, or my car, or the produce section, or especially in front of TV—you’re likely to catch me saying a few words, sometimes with attitude. You'll think I’m talking to you, but I’m not. I'm not really talking to myself, either. I’m talking to, or back to, some thing.

It might be a poorly worded newspaper headline, or menu typos, or a sign that says "Pinaples $3.99" or the one directing me to MENS. Or it may be, and frequently is, TV news—local, national, CNN, any and all of them. Not the news stories per se (that would be another post), but the way broadcast newscasters—hometown anchors and eight-figure-salary stars alike—say some of what they say.

I'm talking pronunciation, or rather, mispronunciation.

"Mispro"

Nothing hurts my ears quite like the sound of a professional newster who mispronounces something.

So, wait: Am I "the very pineapple [pinaple?] of perfection" when it comes to pronouncing? Am I "The Princess and TV," whose sensibilities are so delicate that the wrong combination of phonemes precludes sleep? Am I the raging belle, ready to go a few rounds with [*name of newster here*]?

No. Nor have I memorized Miss Fussmuster's Guide to Good Diction and Declamation. But I know how to say an ordinary word like "mayoral," for example, and most of them don't. Why is that?

I’ve been called on my intolerance in front of the tube a number of times: "Not everyone knows what you know, you know." OK, and "everyone" doesn't have to.
But news people have to. In fact, they have to know more than I do, and that's the point:

They’re professional "news speakers." They’re paid to know.

They're paid to know and use good diction, good voice (tone, pitch), good rhythm (tempo, stress)—all of which they're trained to do . . . plus pronounce things correctly, which apparently they aren't trained to do.

What's in a name . . .

TV news depts. usually find out fast how to pronounce unfamiliar names (Phnom Penh, Mogadishu, Shiite), and they pass that on to the rest of us. When they get it right, we get it right.

Not that they always succeed. Example: When opera diva Licia Albanese came to town, a newscaster butchered her name at 6:00 pm, prompting me to do something I'd never done. At 6:20 I called and left a pleasant voice-mail inviting the newswoman to call me. And she did! She said she'd been struggling with the name all day and was happy to get my message. I coached her on the spot, and on the 11:00 broadcast she had it right.

Sometimes it’s the name of something that will soon be an everyday thing. But if the newsters mispronounce it, so will most of the rest of us. The "mispro" germ spreads fast and goes deep, and everyone soon believes the wrong way is the right way.

Here's one: bruschetta, that tasty, toasty Italian snack. Many morning-show types, some celeb chefs, and restaurant servers everywhere (even in Italian restaurants—yet another post) say "brushetta." But sch = sk in Italian, and the only correct way is "brusketta."

But non-English names aren't the big problem. The big problem is that newsters manage to mangle everyday American English. The fact is, a surprising number of them get some very ordinary words wrong—and they get a lot of the same words wrong.

And regional dialect (accent) has nothing to do with it, by the way. If you’re from the South, you probably say insurance; well, OK. But if a newster is from the South, not OK. In "media English," as newspeak is sometimes called, traces of a home-grown accent might come through, but they're almost imperceptible unless you're listening for it.

List-en up!

So here's the first installment of my Mispro List. The correct way to say the word comes first, then the incorrect way. (That is, as best as I can render with the regular alphabet. Plus maybe by the time I put up another list, I'll have figured out how to create columns. But for now, this is my best shot.)

accessory: ack-sess-erry, not uh-sess-erry

affluent: aff-floo-int, not uh-floo-int (Same goes for affluence.)

amphitheater: am-fih-theater, not am-puh-theater (Also see theater below.)

curator: kyoor-ate-er rather than kyoor-ate-er (Not "wrong" but not quite right.)

exquisite: ex-gwizz-it, not ex-gwizz-it

insurance: in-shoor-ince, not in-shur-ince

mayoral: may-er-ull, not may-yore-'ll (An epidemic! I'm tempted to run for mayor just so someone says it right!)

pamphlet: pam-flit, not pam-plit

picture: pick-shur, not pitch-er

Realtor: ree’ll-ter, not ree-lid-der (PS This is a registered word, and always takes a capital R.)

recognize: reck'gg-nize, not reck'n-ize

reprise: ruh-preez, not ruh-prize (You listening, Matt Lauer? Pleez!)

restaurateur: ress-ter-uh-terr, not ress-ter-ahn-terr (You again, Matt. There's no n in restaurateur.)

route, en route: root, on root; not rowt, enn rowt (Very common, but wrong. Oh, those countless traffic-casters who say "rowt." Ow.)

theater: thee-(uh)-durr, not theed-er (Gen X? LA? A growing trend. Remember when the mispro used to be thee-ay-durr? Not so much anymore.)


Send 'em if you got 'em

Newscasters committed every one of these. Lauer's by no means the only one, but because he’s so polished—the very model of a modern major newster—it's always a shock to hear a mispro coming from him.

There are more—there will always be more. I’ll be adding to the Mispro List; and if you have good examples, I'll add them, too. I'd love to see them!


PS Thanks to Charlene Davis, The Ditzy Dog, for encouraging me to make this my first big rant.